April 1, 2014
Citizens of GoldFire City, we are issuing an all-hands alert city-wide. It turns out that passing pigeons all day has not been the best of ideas. Rather than subduing them into submission, it has only led to these creatures of the streets becoming immune to our human ways and finding new sources of food -- our precious shoes! Yes, that's right, the pigeons have evolved to love the taste of worn rubber. They will stop at nothing to gnaw through your soles to get at your very souls! It is times like these that truly test a city's resolve. Will you stand with me and fight these foul beasts and send them from whence they came!? Citizens! Stand with me and fight the flight!