April 1, 2023
Directly from the office of The Mayor of GoldFire City, we have breaking news of an unknown substance discovered in the water supply around the city. If you woke up this morning with your feet hanging off of your bed, do not panic! The effects will wear off in time, but be sure to avoid drinking from the many fountains around the city. Detective Watts believes the culprit is once again the elusive figure known simply as The Shark. We will update when we have more information.

In unrelated news, the GoldFire City semi-professional basketball team has seen a surge in try-outs and is looking to revamp the roster. More on that during the Sports Report at 10:00.