April 1, 2026
Directly from the office of The Mayor of GoldFire City, officials have confirmed a citywide outbreak of miniature, sharply dressed duplicates.

"At first we thought it was some kind of promotional stunt," the Mayor said, while his smaller counterpart attempted to pocket the microphone. "But when they started following people into casinos and making even worse decisions than usual, we knew something was off."

Residents report that the "Mini-Me" entities are identical in appearance, personality, and questionable judgment, just at a reduced scale. Several have already been spotted placing bets, starting arguments, and confidently giving terrible advice.

Detective Watts has opened an investigation and already named his primary suspect: the elusive figure known only as The Shark. Surveillance footage shows him earlier today accompanied by a miniature associate, both appearing extremely pleased with themselves.

Citizens are advised to remain calm, keep a close eye on their chips, and under no circumstances let their smaller selves make "just one quick bet."